


Impossible Year

by tieanoosearoundmymind



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Gay, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Mentions of drugs, Ryan Ross's parents, Sad, Suicide, highschool, homophbic people, im trash, like everyones gay or bi or pan, omg, this is my free time, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-09-08 20:43:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 28
Words: 15,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8860345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tieanoosearoundmymind/pseuds/tieanoosearoundmymind
Summary: TRIGGER WARNINGYoung love that know one understood because they didn't get that saving someone's life could really make them fall for you.Sad teens they moped around the halls of the school skipped class and did drugs.Because drugs were the only thing that made them happyRyan hates the way he looksGerard is a junkie and kind of confused about his sexuality.Brendon is also very fond of drugs and can't sit stillFrank gets in a lot of fights with a lot of peoplePete is depressed as fuck and doesn't know wat to doMikey has a lot to say he just doesn't know how toTyler has bad anxiety and is a literally addict with a penand then everyone else is just kind of a mess.They venture throuhg high schoolYAYBTW THIS IS TRIGGER WARNING SO PLZ DONT READ IF YOU WILL GET TRIGGERED





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so i'm really excited for this fic so basically idk when i'm gonna updat eand there is a big trigger warning and i can't spell so yea i hope u enjoy
> 
> READ AWAY

Gerard was locked up in his room until he heard a rock hit his window, he opened his window and saw  
Frank, Tyler, Josh, Brendon,Ryan, and Pete all waiting for him.  
"oh Rapunzel let down your hair and come get fucked with us" Fran yelled  
"and bring your hot brother to" Pete said  
Gerard sighed  
"I can't i have homework to do" Gerard said  
"Oh come on pussy take a ride with us" Brendon called  
Gerard sighed  
"fine, let me get Mikey"  
Gerard banged on his wall.  
"Mikey stop watching porn and come out with me and everyone" Gerard yelled.  
Pete smirked.  
Mikey walked into Gerards room.  
"Your a asshole" he said  
Gerard smiled.  
"lets go"  
Gerard climbed out of his window and down the drainpipe and watched Mikey follow him.  
They had to sneak out because there mom was a very strict Catholic and believed that going out when the sun was down would kill them or some shit like that.  
Mikey walked over to his boyfriend and kissed him.  
"alright lets go before your mom figures out what were doing" Ryan said  
"Aww you nervous Ross" Tyler joked  
"Your one to talk" Ryan said  
Tyler smiled.  
They got in Franks car and drove away from the hell hole that Gerard called home.  
"Josh is that a new tat" Pete asked  
"yea" Josh said  
"it's sick" Gerard said  
"so where is the booze" asked Gerard.  
"where going to get it now relax" Frank said  
"ugh i really don't wanna go to school tomorrow" Pete said  
"then don't" Frank said  
"your a big boy you could drop out"  
"no i can't, none of us can our parents would disown us and we would have no whereto go"  
"One more year" Mikey said  
"one more" everyone murmured  
They pulled up to local liquor store and they all went in.  
They got there drugs then drove up to a ledge at the edge of town that had a great view of the stars and the ocean.  
\--------  
Tyler sat at the edge of the cliff his feet hanging over the edge as he looked below him. A normal person would be terrified to do this but the idea of death didn't bother Tyler considering he wanted it so bad.  
He sighed as he looked over at the edge.  
"they come up with a artistic way to say that they don't know you" he said talking to the moon  
"but neither do i" he sighed and lit up a cigarette and scratched the words down on paper.  
He sighed the song was almost done, it was so close, yet so far. He was missing part of the first verse.  
Josh sat down next to him.  
"hey you" he said  
Tyler didn't talk he just stared blankly at the moon his chocolate eyes turning silver in the brightness of the moon.  
Pretty soon everyone sat next to each other staring at the stars and the sky that i that moment they saw so clearly.  
"when can we jump" Pete asked  
"one more year" Mikey said  
they didn't talk much from that point.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEW CHAPTER YAY

Ryan walked out of his house a scarf wrapped around his neck, tight skinny jeans on, and a striped shirt with a black vest over it. He walked down the side walk carrying his backpack with him, he walked to school everyday through all season. He hated the bus, like HATED the bus. There were to many people.  
So he walked down the side walk his hands in his pockets, and his boots hitting the ground firmly with every step. It was still summer right now the leaves were still green and the flowers still out, but soon everything would start to fall away as autumn came.  
Ryan walked down the neighborhood until he got to the school he walked in and found his locker and opened it and gathered all of his stuff.  
"Hey Ross" Pete said leaning up against the locker next to his.  
"hey" Ryan said  
"do you have any clue where the rest of the guys are" Pete asked  
Ryan shook his head.  
Soon enough they found them in the music room playing guitar and piano.  
"hey" Pete said  
everyone nodded there head acknowledging there existence as they tuned there instruments and warmed up there voices.  
Ryan picked up a guitar and Pete a base.  
Gerard sat in the corner sketching something.  
Tyler started playing his new song.  
"nobody thinks what i think" he skipped around singing random lyrics he had written.  
he knew he wanted it to be about purpose and finding some but the problem was he didn't know what his purpose was.  
"cool song what's it called" Brendon asked.  
Tyler paused he became frustrated "ty" brendon said "I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE" he yelled  
everyone looked at him.  
"ty" josh said  
Tyler took a deep breath  
"it's just hard" he said  
he rubbed his fingers over the scars on his wrist.  
"i wanna die" he said  
"I want it so fucking bad"  
Tyler looked down at the keys on the piano  
"one more year" Tyler whispered.  
They went back to paying attention to there instruments.  
"oh look what we have here" said Ashley.  
everyone that was with her laughed.  
"the little sad boys" Melanie snickered.  
"poor kids" Troye said  
Dallon didn't talk he just looked at his feet.  
"oh go fuck yourselves" Brendon said  
"god knows you wouldn't do it for me fag" Ashley said  
"Ash" Troye muttered  
Ashley sighed.  
They all laughed.  
"i wouldn't be laughing everyone in this school knows you lot are in a permanent relationship with your right hands" frank said  
They scoffed  
"now get out" he said  
They left.  
Dallon looked at them and opened his mouth but nothing came out he looked at the floor and left.  
"losers" Brendon said  
"i don't know that Dallon kid looks kinda cool" Mikey said.  
"are you stoned" josh asked  
"no"  
The bell rung and they all left to go to there classes.  
Not to long after that the lunch bell rung and they all went to the cafeteria.  
They sat down.  
"Ryan you have to eat something" Brendon said  
"i'm not really hungry" Ryan said.  
everyone laughed except for Brendon and Ryan  
"that's not the first time we've heard that come out of your mouth" Frank said  
"besides Ryan no one likes to date boys that are just bones, you should know that we want some back" Pete said grabbing Ryan's ass.  
Everyone laughed again.  
Mikey spit out the water he was drinking.  
they all started laughing even harder.  
"I have P.E next you guys wanna skip with me" Gerard asked

"can't i have class with that really hot teacher" Frank said  
Gerard scoffed   
"love you too"   
"which teacher" Josh asked  
"Mr.Steph" frank answered   
they all laughed   
"yea because having someone yell at you to never have sex because you'll die is a really big turn-on" Tyler said sassy.  
"Oh fuck off Tyler"   
"ok does this mean no one will skip with me just one class" Gerard asked   
"sure i will i have tech ed next and that teacher is a total ass hat" Josh said   
"I can't i have art next and that's my album cover sketching time" Tyler said   
"I would but me and Mikey have health with Frank and it's really fun to watch Mr.Williams get all flustered when he talks about girls" Pete said   
Mikey, and Frank laughed.   
"Ry can you skip" Gerard asked   
"yea i have home economics next and were making some sort of food and i don't wanna flaunt my eating disorders in front of the whole class" Ryan said   
"i can't either i have a study hall and i have to study for that science quiz" Brendon said   
"ha pussy" Tyler mumbled  
"oh fuck you"  
"cool i'll meet you guys outside the school"  
the bell rung signaling them to go tot here next classes.  
"ok i'll see you soon" Gerard said.

\--------  
Josh found Gerard, and Ryan sitting outside of the school smoking something.   
"is that weed" Tyler asked   
"yea" Gerard said   
Josh took some and took out his own liter.   
he groaned   
"god i needed that" Josh said   
they stared out into the woods that surrounded there school.   
They heard footsteps.  
"shit" They ran away on to the other side of the building hoping that it wasn't a teacher.  
"Where the fuck are they this is the usual place" Frank said   
Josh, Gerard, and Ryan came out of there hiding.   
"holy shit we thought you were teachers" Josh said   
Frank took the weed out of Gerard's mouth and put it in his own starting to smoke it.   
"thanks" frank said   
"so why are you here, the action in health not good enough for you" Josh asked winking at Frank.  
Frank smiled  
"nah he wasn't there today and it was some chick in there so i said i had to go to the nurse and ditched"   
"what about Pete and Mikey"   
"they always hold hands in the back and pass notes they were content" Frank said   
They sat and talked about teachers and parents and music, until they heard the bell ring.   
They ran inside and to there next class, which they all had together, this class was there favorite class.  
Music


	3. Chapter 3

They all met each other in music with there favorite teacher Mr.K. Mr.K had given up on trying to control what happened in music class a long time ago, other classes of his were strict and orderly but when he got a bunch of musicians in the room together it's hard to control what happened. Ryan was last to enter the class.  
"hurry on in Ryan were about to start" they played and jammed out to all of there favorite bands.   
then the bell rung again they went to 3 more classes then went home.  
\-------  
Pete opened a drawer in his bedroom and grabbed the razor blade.   
"i hate myself" he said as he dragged it across his skin almost cutting deep enough to need stitches.  
He made several cuts some big and some small until he had to much blood pouring down his wrist.  
he moped up the blood and put a band-aid over them, ran downstairs grabbed a bottle of beer ran back upstairs and started drinking and smoking.  
His parents were never home, they were always working. all of there parents were never home except for Gerard's mom, he was always home to be the model catholic wife.   
Pete's phone made a noise. 

Frank: hey

Mikey: Hey

pete: hey

Frank: Sup

Pete: cut again

Frank: that's no surprise

Frank: you ok

Pete: no i'm not o fucking kay

mikey: why didn't you tell me

Tyler: one more year

Josh: This is gonna be the wrst year of our lives isn't it 

Everyone: yea

\-------  
Mikey found Pete as soon as he got to school.  
"hey baby" Pete said   
Mikey kissed him and took his wrist.   
"pete this is bad" Mikey said   
"yea no fuck" he said   
mikey slapped his arm.  
"don't get all fucking pissy with me because i care"   
pete looked down.  
"sorry"  
Frank and the rest of the group walked up.  
"lets go were leaving" Frank said  
Pete and mikey obliged and they walked out of the school and walked down the the cliff they always went to.  
Pete stared at the edge and moved towards it.  
"pete" Tyler screamed  
pete turned around.  
"give me a good reason not to" he screamed back  
"one more year" they all screamed simultaneously.  
Pete groaned and walked back with them.   
frank was sitting next to Gerard holding his hand.  
Frank rested his head on Gerard's shoulder.  
"I love you" he whispered   
Gerard nuzzled into him telling him he loved him to.   
thye didn't like to show there affection in front of there friends because they knew they'd get shit for it, but also it felt to special if it was just them and there intimate moments.  
"i'm gonna take you here someday soon alone and we can watch the sun set and the stars come out" Gerard said  
" i would like that"   
"someday soon"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEW CHAPTER YAY

Frank smiled and laughed as he kissed his boyfriend, he had his hair tangled up in Gerard's long black hair.   
They rolled over and Frank went on top of Gerard and continued to kiss him.   
Gerard stopped and they sat up.  
"whats wrong baby" Frank asked   
"i just missed this, you know we get a lot of shit from our friends for being so" Gerard paused   
"desperately in love with each other" Frank said sarcastically.   
Frank leaned forward and kissed Gerard again.   
Frank slipped his tongue in his mouth.   
They fell down on to the pillow and kissed harder and faster.   
Frank tangled his fingers back in Gerard's hair.  
"I fucking love you" Frank said  
"Gee, Mikey I'm home" his mom called from downstairs.  
Gerard jumped off his bed.   
"go" he whispered.  
Frank looked around panicked.  
"ok I love you i'll see you tomorrow" Frank said   
"i love you Frankie" Gerard said   
Frank climbed out of his window and ran back to his house.  
Gerard watched him runaway on the side walk until he was to far to see"   
"Just one more year" Gerard whispered.   
His mom knocked on his door.   
"Gee" she said   
He quickly opened a sketch book trying to look busy.   
"come in" he said   
"hey" she said   
how was school.   
"good" he said   
"did you get any homework" she asked   
"yea tons, i'm probably gonna be up here for awhile" Gerard lied.  
"ok do you know how your brother is" she asked  
"expressionless and boring as usual" he said   
"hey you be nice to your brother" she said   
"ok have fun with homework and don't stay up to late" she said   
"K mom" he said  
His mom walked away to go check in on Mikey.  
\---------  
"one more" Tyler whispered  
"only one more" he kept saying   
he cut himself with the razor blade.   
The blade didn't hurt.  
but god he did.   
he stopped and fell on to his bed and stared at the ceiling, he waited got up and started to smoke his weed.  
"and addict with a pen" he whispered  
Tyler got up and walked into his bathroom and filled up the sink.  
he waited till it filled up and dropped his head in.   
He waited until he felt like his lungs would give out and then brought his head above water.   
He tried to catch his breath panting as he looked at the sink.   
he dunked his head in it several times until he felt satisfied.   
He fell onto the floor and pulled out a cigarette.   
\-------  
"I hate Friday's" frank said   
"There better then Sunday's, there my suicide days"   
They walked into the music room and saw Ryan asleep on Brendon's shoulder.  
"Is he ok" Mikey asked  
Brendon looked up with tears filling his eyes.  
"I don't know" he said a tear falling down his cheek.  
Pete sat on the other side of Ryan.   
"Ry" he said nudging him lightly.   
He mumbled something.  
"Ryan you need to eat something" Pete said   
"No" he said   
"Ryan come on your a wreck" Frank said   
"Ryan come on" Josh said   
"No" Ryan said   
"Ryan Ross get your ass up and go eat something" Brendon yelled  
"No" Ryan screamed   
"Because I look like shit all the time and I don't need to look worse then I already am" he screamed   
Tyler sat down on a chair and cried into his hands.  
Josh saw his wrists.  
"Tyler" he said   
Tyler looked up  
"Why didn't you tell me" he said turning his wrists over.  
Tyler wiped the tears that were down his cheeks away.  
"I didn't want to make you feel bad" he said   
Everyone sat down and stared at there feet.  
"Why do we have to live through this year" Gerard asked  
Everyone shook there heads.  
"I don't know"   
Frank took Gerard's hand and held it.  
"Because maybe once we get out of this hell hole school, and get away from our hell parents we will find something worth living for" frank said  
"Because there has to be something worth living for"   
The bell rang and they got up and went to there classes like nothing mattered   
But everything mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading give me a comment and a kudo!!!


	5. Chapter 5

"Has anyone seen Ryan" Brendon asked frantically at lunch.  
Everyone shook there heads.  
Brendon ran out of the school and to Ryan's house. He knew his parents were out of town so he just opened the door and ran up to Ryan's room and opened he door.  
Ryan was on the floor in his bedroom in a heap.  
"Ryan" Brendon screamed.  
\---------  
Frank had gotten the call later when him and everyone else were walking over to Franks house.  
He ended the call.  
"Ryan's in the hospital"  
"What" everyone said  
"Brendon said he found him on his bedroom floor all pale in gross from not eating"  
"We should go see him" Mikey said  
They all agreed and made there way to the hospital. They found Brendon in the waiting room, with Ryan's parents next to him.  
"Who are all of you" his dad asked  
"Were Ryan's friends" Gerard said  
"Ryan doesn't have friends and it's time for me and him to have a chat come back later and take this boy with you" he said gesturing towards Brendon.  
"No" Frank said  
"Frankie" Gerard whispered  
"Excuse me"  
"You don't even know Ryan you don't know why he's here or what he does or what he likes, you don't know him but we do so if anyone's coming back later it's you" frank said  
"Brendon" said a doctor  
Brendon looked up.  
"He wants to see you"  
"Can we come" Josh asked  
"Yes"  
They all walked into Ryan's room and found him slumped up with a bunch of pillows lying in a bed.  
Brendon ran up to him and hugged him.  
"I-I- thought you were dead" Brendon sobbed  
"When I found you I thought" Brendon's voice broke and he started to cry again.  
Pete sat next to Ryan and put his chin on his shoulder.  
"You got me all scared Ry" he said  
Ryan pecked Brendon's cheek.  
"I love you" Ryan said  
Brendon looked at him.  
"What"  
They had never said it before  
"I love you"  
"I love you to" he said  
Ryan hugged him again and smiled.  
Then he hugged the rest of his friends.  
"Your parents are out there" Brendon said  
Ryan's expression changed.  
"Oh" he said  
"Hey it's ok we'll be here to keep you safe" Josh said  
Ryan nodded  
"Ok"  
\--------  
Frank sat in health class staring out the window thinking about life. He wasn't paying attention, no matter how much he liked the teacher he couldn't stop his mind from racing.  
Franks dad had left when he was younger and his mom was struggling to get money and keep the house, things weren't exactly nice in his life and free time like this wasn't exactly good for him.  
"Mr.Iero, I wanna see you after class" The teacher said  
Frank sighed and nodded and continued to gaze out the window.  
The bell rang and Frank didn't get out of his chair.  
Mr.Steph closed the door and sat down in front of Frank.  
"Frank I heard about your friend Ryan I'm sorry about that" he said  
"He'll survive" Frank said  
Mr.Steph sighed  
"Frank look at me"  
Frank turned his head.  
"You don't always have to play the tough guy" he said  
Frank blinked away tears but one escaped his eye.  
He quickly wiped it away and looked back out the window.  
"Listen I have a class right now so I'm gonna go, but this was a nice chat" Frank said  
"Frank" said Mr.Steph  
"Ryan's gonna be ok, and so are you" he said  
Frank smiled weakly.  
"Whatever you say" he walked out of the class to music.  
Brendon was sitting listening to something on his phone, Tyler had his head in a notebook writing, Josh was drumming, Gerard was sketching, Pete was writing, and Mikey was tuning his base.  
Frank sighed and took a seat next to Gerard.  
"What are you working on" Frank asked  
Gerard was sketching a beautiful and accurate picture of the cliff that they always went to.  
"Gee it's so pretty" frank said  
He was just adding some color to the sun and water.  
"Thanks baby"  
The door to the classroom opened and Ryan walked in.  
"Ryan" Pete said  
"your here"  
Ryan laughed and nodded.  
"yea i'm feeling a lot better" Ryan said  
Gerard smiled  
"we're glad, you had us all worried" Gerard said  
Ryan sat down and picked up a guitar.  
and strummed something he had been working on.  
Tyler sat down at the piano and started playing random things he'd been working on

for once it was a normal day


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey so it's been a little while since i've posted sorry but im here now read away

"You asshole" Frank said pushing the taller boy into the wall.  
Frank sent his fist into Dallon's jaw.  
"it wasn't me" he yelled  
"Sure it wasn't" Frank screamed punching him again.  
Dallon pushed him and punched him back.  
Frank kicked him and the screamed at each other.  
"Go to hell" Frank screamed  
"ha i'll see you there"  
Teachers came running down the stairs along with several students.  
Frank lunged and pushed Dallon against the cold wall, Dallon flipped positions pinning Frank against the wall holding him there with one hand and throwing punches with the other.  
"Boys stop it right now, Dallon get away" the teacher screamed.  
Brendon ran up and put himself in between them both.  
"walk away Dallon"  
"no" he screamed  
"Walk away" Brendon yelled  
Dallon sighed and backed up.  
Frank fell down onto the floor and put his face in his hands.  
Tyler, Josh, Ryan, Gerard, Mikey, and Pete all stood watching.  
"alright Mr. Iero get up" Mr. Steph said, the older man took frank arm which he pulled away quickly.  
'I don't need your help ass hat" Frank said getting up off the floor.  
"Frank" Gerard said angrily.  
frank looked at him and sighed.  
"Go" Gerard said  
Frank looked at Mr. Steph and sighed.  
"Frank" Dallon yelled  
Frank turned his head  
"It wasn't me, i don't do shit like that" he said  
Frank looked down as the teacher led him away. They found there way into a room and Mr. steph locked the door. "frank what's going on" he said Frank just stared at his hands, his knuckled were bruised from throwing punches. he looked down at his arm and saw the scar he had from when his dad had pushed him into a mirror. He burst into tears "She works so hard, she's been through so much and they just came in and they" he cut himself off and looked up at the teacher. "She barley gets by, and they" Frank had come home from school last night to find his house with a eviction sign on it. He had asked his mom what had happened. She said that some kids had reported how the house was unsafe for people to live in and the bank was reminded on how they had to pay the bills. Frank had later figured out that it was Ashley, Melanie, and Troye. He had assumed Dallon was in on it because he always hung out with them. "Frank what going on" Frank told the teacher what happened and he looked down at the floor. "They're assholes" Mr. Steph said Frank chuckled "you have no idea" "However you have to be punished for your actions Frank" he said frank rolled his eyes "i'll get my stuff out of my locker and i'll see you again next week" Frank said Mr. Steph nodded and frank got his stuff and left the school, he walked back to his house which was now empty his mom was at work. He ran into his room and started packing his stuff, he loved his mom so much, his dad wasn't in the picture anymore he had been sent to jail when his mom had finally told the police about the abuse. Frank looked at a picture he kept on his bedside table. It was him and Gerard laughing. Next to that was several pictures that Gerard had made for him. He smiled and felt better, he loved Gerard so much. "oh sugar" he said "i love you oh so very much" His mom came back later with a weary smile on her face. "Frankie baby" she called Frank immediately ran out of his room to meet her. "I got a call from your school today" she said Frank looked down at his feet. "what are we gonna do with you" she said ruffling his hair as she walked into the house. "so i talked to Gerard's mother today" she said "we're gonna stay with them for a little while until we get back on our feet" frank looked at her happily. "seriously" his mom had no clue that they were together. "Well i know you're best friends so i figured you'd be happy with that" "yes very happy oh my god i love you" he said She laughed. "I love you too Frankie, we'll get through this, we always do" Frank smiled "now go pack your stuff we move in this weekend" she said Frank smiled "ok"


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's almost 2017 and I'M SO HAPPY I can't wait to watch 2016 burn and die!!!!!! Also i'm introducing a new character who mostly just speaks Italian, so after every sentence that's in Italian there will be a translation. Read away!!!

Gerard lifted up the box and carried it into his room.  
"i can't believe you're moving in" Gerard said happily  
Frank laughed.  
"I can't either" he said  
They dropped the last box in his room, there wasn't a lot to put in considering he didn't keep a lot, he wasn't very sentimental.  
They were unpacking when Gerard found the picture of him and Frank laughing.  
"when did you get this" Gerard asked  
Frank looked and blushed.  
"I've had it for a while now, I like it" he said  
Gerard smiled and looked through the boxes more.  
There parents came up.  
"Ok boys it's getting late you should probably go to sleep you have school tomorrow"  
Frank sighed and flopped down on the couch he had in his room.  
"night"  
"Frank Anthony Iero" his mother scolded  
"Non essere scortese avere buone maniere e un po 'di igiene personale" his mom scolded (don't be rude show good manners and brush your teeth)  
"Ok ok mi dispiace" (ok ok i'm sorry)  
"oh Linda I never knew you spoke italian" Gerards mother said  
"yes, i only use it when i have to" She said  
They both laughed and left the room.  
Gerard smiled  
"i never knew you spoke Italian so fluently.  
"I am a man of many talents" he said  
"talk to me in Italian more it's cute" Gerard said  
frank smiled  
"alright i'm going to sleep"  
"good night Fankie"  
"night sugar"  
\---------------  
Frank woke up in the middle of the night sweating tears running out of his eyes.  
He remembered his dream and how his father had hit him, he always has these dreams, every night.  
Gerard rolled over and his eyes fluttered open.  
"Frankie" he mumbled  
"yea sugar" Frank said  
"what are you doing awake"  
"Nothing i just had a bad dream, but i'm ok"  
"Oh I'm sorry" said Gerard  
"Baby, come 'ere" Gerard said  
Frank got up and lied down next to Gerard.  
"What's going on" he said  
"Nothing" Frank said his voice breaking and a tear drifting down his cheek  
"i love you" Gerard said  
"I love you too" frank watched Gerard drift to sleep, then went back to his own bed and fell asleep.  
\-----------   
"alzarsi ragazzi è il momento per la scuola" yelled franks mom. (get up boys it's time for school)  
Frank groaned and pulled the sheets over his head.  
"What" Gerard said  
"It's time for school" Frank translated sleepily.  
"Ah good you heard me, get up and go to school bambino"(child)  
His mother came in and, took off Franks blankets off him  
"alzarsi"(get up) she said  
"bene lasciami in pace si fa a sapere che ore sono" frank yelled (fine i will god do you know what time it is)  
"Frank non alzare la voce sarà di me Sono tua madre" (do not raise your voice will me i am your mother)  
"scusa" (sorry).  
"Get up boys"  
Franks mother spoke with a heavy Italian accent when she did speak in English.  
Gerard rose out of bed and grabbed a pair of jeans and slid them on, then grabbed a t-shirt that he had designed.  
Frank got dressed and headed downstairs grabbed an apple.  
"bye mamma, ti amo" (love you)  
"ti amo troppo bambino" (love you too baby) Franks mom said  
Frank, Gerard, and Mikey left walking down the street.  
"I don't wanna take the bus" Frank said  
"We don't have to" Gerard said  
"good"


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so IN celebration of 2017 i'm gonna be posting ALOT tonight so hope you guys enjoy

Ryan woke up to his alarm clock ringing in his ears, he groaned and shut it off. He stared up at the ceiling dreading this day. His parents were coming home for tonight before they left again tomorrow morning, he didn't want to see them or have to pretend to not love a boy, he didn't want to have to play a part that he wasn't. He looked back at the alarm clock and threw the covers off him and got dressed quickly. He brushed his teeth and combed his hair then grabbed his backpack, then ran out the house and sprinted to the school, he was gonna be late if he didn't hurry. He ran onto the side walk his sneakers hitting the ground firmly, panting as the cool air filled his lungs. He ran into the school and to his homeroom just getting before the bell rung.   
"That was close Mr. Ross," his teacher said  
"sorry" Ryan muttered.   
The bell rang and he went off to his next class.   
All during English Ryan wrote down lyrics he was thinking about.   
"Ryan can you tell me what he was thinking" the teacher said   
Ryan looked up at the teacher   
"uh-I-um I-he-thought" he stuttered.   
"Listen in class next time and you may be able to answer" the teacher scolded.   
"sorry" he said   
\-----------  
Ryan ran home as fast as he could after school and took down pictures or him and Brendon, he took down all the band posters that he had, and emptied all of his drawers and hid his clothes and replaced it with clothes his mom bought him, he hid drawings, cigarette lighters, Lyric art, lyric notebooks. He cleaned his room and changed everything for when his parents would get here. He changed his clothes, to a button up shirt and dress pants, he cleaned his whole house and sat at the table and did his homework knowing his parents would be home soon. He turned off his phone and continued his homework.   
The door opened and his parents walked in.   
"Ryan" they called.  
"Mom, Dad, your home" he said trying to act happy.  
they all hugged.  
"Well Ryan i do have to say that you've done a very good job taking care of the house" his dad praised  
"thanks" Ryan said  
the night dragged on and they all talked at dinner Ryan trying not to cry or scream at there homophobic comments that somehow always came up.  
"So we were in Los Angeles, and there were all these homosexuals holding hands and kissing and i swear the amount of establishments we had to leave because of there audacity" His dad said outraged  
Ryan nodded staring down at his plate, he knew he had to eat all of it or else his parents would freak out, so he kept eating deciding he would just puke it all up later.   
Then he finally escaped claiming he was tired said goodnight and goodbye knowing they would be gone again by the time he woke up in the morning. Ryan stared at his ceiling wondering when he could finally get the money and the guts to leave. god he wanted to leave.


	9. Chapter 9

"tu non mi conosci, non sai quello che ho passato non ho bisogno di te e io non voglio che tu così affanculo stronzo, non far finta che sei stato lì" Frank screamed at the teacher, he slipped into Italian when he was feeling a intense emotion. (you don't know me, you don't know what i've been through i don't need you and I don't want you so fuck off asshole, don't pretend you've been there)  
"Mr. iero calm down" Mr. Steph said  
"No non mi dica di calmarmi ho tutto il diritto di essere incazzato ho molto diritto di agire fuori si d'altra parte non si ha alcun diritto di dirmi cosa fare" he screamed (No don't tell me to calm down i have every right to be pissed i have very right to act out you on the other hand you don't have any right to tell me what to do)   
"i don't understand Frank" the teacher said getting worried. Frank was screaming and crying, the whole class watching him fear in there eyes.   
"Non guardarmi così che io non sono lui" he yelled looking at his classmates (  
"i'm not my dad" he whispered and collapsed as everything went black.  
Mikey and Pete got up and ran to his side.  
"Boys get the nurse" he yelled  
Pete got up and ran down the hall, Mikey sat next to him looking worried at Frank.   
The nurse came running in and he was carried away to her office.   
After the bell rung Mikey ran all over the school trying to find everyone, and he did except no one could find Gerard.  
Mikey ran over everywhere before he got a text saying to go to the nurse office.   
He ran down to the nurses office where Frank lied unconscious with Gerard next to him.  
"oh great theirs more of you" the nurse sighed   
Mikey scoffed and ignored her comment.  
They sat there for a few more minutes waiting for him to wake up.  
"ok you all need to go back to class" the nurse said angrily  
everyone started to move except Gerard.  
"You too Mr.Way" she barked.  
"fuck you, Gerard screamed, you want me out of this room then fucking carry me hag" Gerard screamed  
mr. Steph sighed and shook his head.   
"Gerard" Mikey said  
"you can all stay" Mr. Steph said realizing that they would fight to stay.   
The nurse huffed and walked into her office and hid in there.   
Gerard looked at Frank his eyes willing him to wake up.   
Frank's eyes fluttered open and he awoke seeing Gerard's head buried in a sketch book.   
"baby" he muttered  
Gerard looked up and shushed him.  
Mr. Steph looked at them oddly.   
Frank realized and then sighed and tipped his head back sighing and staring at the ceiling.   
he remembered what he said, he remembered every detail.   
"Fanculo" frank swore (fuck)   
The teacher stood up and walked over to him.   
"there you go talking in a foreign language, what is that" he asked sarcastically   
"Italian" Frank said staring at the ground  
"well you seem fluent" he said  
Frank laughed and looked up at him.   
"my mom moved here from Italy, it's all we speak around the house" Frank said   
Gerard laughed and wiped the tears that rested on his cheeks away.   
"Frank Iero you scared the crap out of me and now you're talking about your fluency in Italian" Gerard laughed  
Frank chuckled and smiled.   
"sorry" he muttered.   
the nurse came out and checked his temperature, along with blood pressure and many other things.   
Frank kept looking around the room at his friends before she told him he would be fine it was probably from dehydration and over stimulation, whatever that meant.  
Frank was instructed to stay in the nurses office for the remainder of the day.   
When the final bell of the day rang Frank met Gerard on the side walk.   
"Ciao amore mio" he said smoothly taking Gerard's hand. (hello my love)  
Gerard knew only a tiny bit of Italian from what Frank had said around the house.   
"Com'è stata la tua giornata" Frank asked (how was your day)   
"um" Gerard said  
"how was your day" Frank asked laughing  
"oh, it was good until you scared me" Gerard said  
they walked into the house.   
"La mamma, la signora Way siamo a casa" (mom, mrs.way we're home)  
"hi mom" he said looking at his mother.   
His mom gave him a look.  
"abbiamo parlato di questo voglio che tu mi parli solo in italiano" (we have talked about this i want you to speak to me only in Italian)  
"scusa"   
"Gerard do you mind if i speak to my son for a minute"   
"what oh-yea of course i'll be upstairs"   
"cosa vuoi dirmi sulla chiamata che ho ricevuto dal infermiera oggi" (do you wanna tell me about the call i got from the nurse today)  
"mom it's no big deal it was just dehydration" he said   
"Frankie are you sure" she said  
"yes mamma" he said   
"OK Go fare il vostro lavoro" (go do your homework)  
Frank ran upstairs into his room and closed the door behind him


	10. Chapter 10

He swore he would fight, and he did, he fought hard. Each day a different battle, and now he was tired and he was done.

_Dear friends,_

_I never did understand why all the unhappiness was dumped on us, but somehow it was. I know that you can fight it even though i couldn't, I just wanted to feel ok again, but that wasn't happening no matter what I did. Giving up was so much easier then fighting more and more battles, weather it was trying not to have a breakdown in the lunchroom or not to cut myself again I seemed to always lose. My life has been a serious of events some good some bad, but for me the good ones are nice and they last a little bit but eventually i forget them, while bad moments stick to me like hot glue, they leave scratches and burns on my mind, and no amount of therapy or surgery could remove those burns. I want you to keep fighting this because we all know you're stronger then I would ever be. I won't apologize for letting myself be free, but I will apologize to you for however this affects you. One more year and then I might see you again._

Sincerely, Someone you thought you knew


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey people,   
> Sorry i haven't posted in sooooo long whoops! I have a shit ton of school work but anyway new chapter in which we figure out some sad but exciting information.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey people,   
> Sorry i haven't posted in sooooo long whoops! I have a shit ton of school work but anyway new chapter in which we figure out some sad but exciting information.

They all sat in the dark of the music room silent, except for the occasional sob, or scream. Josh stood up and walked towards the door. He'd done this at least 5 times.   
"Where is he." Josh whispered  
"Josh he's gone, Tyler's dead" Frank said  
Josh winced the words cutting into him like a razor blade on a wrist.   
"Frank stop" Gerard said   
"What it's true" Frank sakd quietly  
"Fuck you" Josh yelled  
Frank stood up and walked up to Josh.  
"No Josh Fuck him"   
Josh swung his hand at Franks jaw, Frank replied with a punch to the nose.   
Mikey, Brendon, and Pete ran over and seperated the two.   
"Listen assholes this is not gonna be easy but fighting with each other is not gonna fix it" Brendon yelled.  
"Wjo made you the boss" Frank said looking directly at Brendon.   
Gerard stood up and grabbed Frank by the ear and pulled him away.   
"Stop it" he said  
"Gee-"  
"No Frank don't be that asshole"   
Frank looked down  
"I'm sorry josh"  
Josh just nodded and left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter ive got some serious writers block


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey frens!!!!!!! New chapter read away. so do you guys want to know how Tyler killed him self if so comment if not still comment and leave a like. (fuck i feel like a youtuber) Anyway have fun reading this and give me feedback!!

Brendon and Josh walked to there first period class both staring at there feet, over to there left they heard Ashley, Melanie, and Troye all laughing about something, but no Dallon.  
"Oh Josh Heard about Tyler, so sorry" Melanie asked bitchy  
"Maybe this time his mommy drank a little to much" Ashley added.  
Josh ignored them and looked at the ground his blood boiling.  
they all walked over to them, Brendon was staring daggers at them, but they ignored him.  
"Oh wait, he didn't die on accident did he" Ashley whispered  
"He killed himself" she said  
Dallon punched her in the gut.  
She squealed and held her stomach  
"Dallon what the hell" she screeched  
"fuck you Ashley" he yelled  
"you have no clue what anyone goes through, you live your life locked in a trust fund, with a daddy who gives you what you want when you want it because he feels so bad that he's the reason you mommys dead, well wake up sunshine other people have it way worse so maybe you should be the one that's dead not Tyler" Dallon yelled  
Ashley stared at him.  
"Dal-"  
"fuck off Ash" he said  
Melanie, Troye, and Ashley all ran away.  
Brendon looked up at Dallon.  
"thanks" Josh said  
"I've watched those jerks torment you guys for to long, it's time to grow up"  
'Why don't you come sit with us at lunch Mr. Weekes" Brendon said  
Dallon's face lit up and he smiled.  
"really" he said  
josh nodded his head mustering up a small smile.  
"yea"  
"ok"  
the second bell rung meaning they were all late for there classes.  
"shit" Brendon and Josh said  
"Ms. P is gonna kill us"  
"how many extra laps do you think we're gonna have to run" Josh asked  
"Probbaly as many as it takes for you to pass out and die" Dallon said  
They all smiled.  
"Alright see ya later Dal"  
Dallon smiled and headed off to his class, finally he was a part of something good.  
\----------  
A little bit later in the day Josh gazed out the window of his history class, there was snow falling down on the ground. He closed his eyes and imagined Tyler spread out in the snow smiling as the snow hit is nose and his cheeks turned bright red. Tyler had always loved the snow, it had inspired so many good songs. Josh played oh ms believer in his head is hands and fingers tapping on the desk.  
"I love you Tyler" he whispered.  
"Mr. Dun, can you tell me" Josh's daydreaming was shattered and his attention grabbed. He looked at the teacher who stood in front of him.  
"i don't know" he said  
"focus Josh" She scolded  
"yes ma'am"  
once the teacher left him alone he went back to gazing out the window drifting back into the memory that was Tyler.  
"I miss you" he whispered to himself  
"So much"


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new chapter nothing to say really!! It's probably gonna be pretty short but maybe you guys will like it

<p>Gerard walked home with Mikey both of them freezing, but in there opinions freezing your balls off was way better then going on the loud, gross, people filled, school bus.   
So they walked their boots crunching against the packed down snow that rested on it's concrete grave. Mikey wiped something off his cheek which Gerard identified as a tear. He stopped and wrapped his arm around Mikey.   
"I know Mikey" he said   
Mikey broke down sobbing as his tears hit the snow,   
"why'd he have to go" he cried   
Gerard ushered his brother inside the warm house, his mom sat inside on her computer working.   
"Mikey" she said   
She got up and sat Mikey down on a chair.   
"baby whats wrong are you hurt" she fussed  
"Mom I've got it can you go make coffee" she nodded and ran away.   
Gerard sat down next to his brother and took his hand.   
"this sucks Mikey, but we're gonna get through it... I promise"  
Mikey wiped the tears away from his face.   
"It's gonna get better" he said   
Gerard nodded his head   
"yes"   
\-------   
Frank was sitting in Mr. Steph's classroom, he had been held for detention for talking or something like that.   
"Mr. Iero do you understand why your in here"   
"listen i'd love to chat but my moms gonna be worried sick and I have homework to do and-"  
"Frank I asked you a question"   
"no I don't"  
"Frank I want you to call me Steven outside of class"   
Frank snorted   
"I know what it's like to be where you are and I wanna try and help you-"   
"no" frank said   
He stood up from his chair and grabbed his backpack   
"I'm not your charity case, i'm not the poor boy whose life your gonna make better because you want to, this is my life and you can't have a part in it, so stop trying to shove yourself into my life" he yelled He packed up his books and picked up his back-pack.   
"bye asshole" he said   
"Frank" Steven yelled   
"Fuck you" Frank yelled   
He ran outside of the school and realized it was snowing, he fell down onto the curb and sobbed into his freezing hands.   
"Tyler, please come back" Frank sobbed   
Steven ran out of the school and saw Frank and sat next to him.   
"Frank i'm sorry"   
"He loved the snow, that was one of his main inspirations he fucking loved it and now it's snowing and he's not here to see it, he's not here to see the snow" Frank cried   
"who"   
"Tyler"   
"He loved the snow"  
\------------   
Pete sat in his room music blasting through speakers every light, tv, radio in the house on. He wouldn't give himself up to the silence, not today. He sat down writing lyrics and then checking his phone, then watching tv, then focusing on the radio. His parents weren't home, they never were so he could blast everything as loud as he needed it to be. He sat down and did his homework and texted his friend Patrick who lived in Chicago. Then he saw Mikey text him. He looked at the text which read

_hey baby, listen i know this is gonna be cheesy in something you could probably use in a cheesy ass song, but i was walking home today and I realized it's snowing, Tyler loved the snow, and i know you hate it, I know you love the rain. The point is please don't die, please don't make it so every time is rains my heart breaks, please stay here with me, because i know our lives suck right now but i wanna be with you when it gets better, please make it so I don't have to bury you in rain._

Pete screamed and ran outside and looked at the snow, he fell down and laughed 

"Tyler you're a total asshole"

"a missed asshole"

Pete shed a tear and watched it fall into the snow leaving a mark

"what happened to one more year"

The wind whistled and leaves rustled and he could hear Tyler's voice in his head.

"One more year and i might see you again"

Pete shivered and walked back in and closed the door,

He turned off the TV, Radio, and computer, he sat down at the window and let the silence sit in, he sat at the window and watched the snow fall because sometimes you have to realize that you are most definetly what you love, but sometimes you have to be the thing you hate too.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sick guys :( but this means that i'll be posting some today!!!! Hope you guys enjoy.  
> Read away

Ryan sat outside on his porch step the snow falling on his cheeks, his parents were in California teaching the way of god to people who didn't give a shit. Ryan had gone home but once he saw the snow fall he didn't wanna go inside. Him had grown up best friends, there parents went to the same church and they had played as kids. Ryan new he had loved the snow so much, Ryan stared at the ground and focused on how every snowflake was different. He heard crunching snow ahead of him and he looked up.  
"Hey baby" Brendon said  
Ryan smiled and stood up.   
Brendon kissed him.   
"I figured i'd come over"   
Ryan smiled and looked down   
"It's snowing" he said   
"yea I know" he said sadly.   
"we should go inside or else your gonna end up getting sick"  
Ryan nodded and they walked into the house. Ryan paused and looked as the snow fell.   
"Tyler" he whispered   
He stepped outside again and fell into the snow and started to cry.   
"Ryan" Brendon said  
"we played on this yard, we pretended we were pirates, we told secrets all here, and now he's gone" he sobbed   
Brendon hugged him and kissed his temple.   
"i know love" Brendon said   
Brendon stood him up and dragged him back to the house and closed the door behind him.   
Ryan fell onto the rug and wiped the tears from his cheeks.   
"I know this is hard" Brendon whispered  
"Tyler" he whispered


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys it's been a while since i posted whoops sorry!!! ilysm guys!!! anyway leave a kudo for me and a comment hope you guys like this.

Josh lied in his bed all the lights off staring at the ceiling his eyes were wet and burning from crying.  
Now he was just empty.  
apathetic  
he felt hollow.  
"Tyler" he whispered  
He ran out of his room and down the stairs, he collided with the walls knocking things off of them. He staggered around like a drunk man.  
josh opened his front door and staggered outside.  
"Where'd you go"  
"I loved you" he screamed  
"Why'd you leave me"  
"Tyler"  
"Tyler"  
Josh's voice got louder  
"TYLER"  
Josh fell down into the snow his lungs failing as he breathed the cold air. Pete ran down the street and fell into the snow next to Josh.  
"Josh" he said  
He wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close and hugged him tight.  
"it's ok Josh i'm here" Pete comforted  
Josh sat in the snow screaming and crying as Pete held him.  
Pete got his phone an texted all of there friends to meet them at Josh's.  
Guys get to Josh's now!!!! ASAP!  
Brendon and Ryan, we're running down Josh's street and into his yard.  
"Josh" they said  
Brendon, and Ryan fell down into the snow with Pete and Josh.  
"It's ok Josh"  
Before they knew it Frank, Gerard, and Mikey we're in the yard with them.  
They were all siting in the snow holding hands or arms as they watched Josh cry, trying to comfort him.  
"Josh we need to go inside" Mikey whispered Josh's limbs were numb and his nose running, the tears were gonna freeze to his face. They all lifted Josh out of the snow and dragged him back inside the house

Pete pushed the door open and they put Josh on the couch. Brendon sat next to him and held his hand.  
"Josh look at me"  
Josh looked over at him.  
"You don't have to go through this alone"  
"we've got you"


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!!!! Tomorrow is valentines day so in celebration this chapters gonna be super fluffy!!!!! and gay! hope you guys like it don't forget to leave a comment and kudo

Mikey woke up next to Pete, they were at Pete's house. Mikey looked around the room. It was originally painted a dark green but Pete had covered it with song lyrics and posters. When Pete couldn't get his feelings out he would write on the walls with sharpie, his parents didn't see it because his parents weren't ever home. Mikey untangled himself from Pete's arms. He got up and put his sweat pants on leaving him shirtless. He got a cigarette from Pete's drawer and lit it, It was snowing still. Josh had his break down on Thursday, they had skipped school on Friday to stay with him, and then Mikey had gone over Pete's and it was now Saturday. The snow had not stopped it was approaching a foot now, and it was bitterly cold.  
Pete woke up and sniffed the smoke from the cigarette.  
"baby come back" Pete said sleepily rolling over.  
Mikey kept staring out the window smoking his cigarette.  
Pete got out of bed and walked over to his boyfriend.  
"Hey you alright" he said wrapping his arm around Mikey's waist  
Mikey put his cigarette back to his mouth.  
"Mikey talk to me" Pete said  
"i'm alright just tired after everything that's going on" Mikey said  
Pete kissed Mikey's cheek.  
"c'mon it's cold lets go back to bed"  
Mikey looked at the clock.  
"oh shit" he said  
it was 8:00 his mom was gonna wake up and realize he wasn't there.  
"Mikey what"  
Mikey pulled his shirt and shoes on.  
"Mikey baby what are you doing" Pete yelled  
"my mom she doesn't know where I am she's gonna kill me I have to go"  
Mikey had all his clothes on.  
"I love you" he kissed his quickly and ran down the stairs and out the door. He bolted down the street and turned left onto his street. He climbed up a ladder that was outside Gerard's window and fell into his brothers room.  
Gerard and Frank didn't wake up, they must've gotten drunk last night, they were heavy sleepers.  
Mikey tiptoed into his room and jumped into his bed. Two minutes later his mom pocked her head in.  
"Mikey sweetie" she said.  
She shook him awake lightly.  
"Mikey honey i have to go to work now have a nice weekend"  
Mikey nodded.  
"Alright bye mom"  
"Love you sweetie"  
"Love you too mom"  
Mikey's mom left the house.  
Franks mom left at 5:00 every morning and worked till 9:00 every night.  
MIkey got up out of bed and walked down stairs and got coffee.   
\-----------   
Frank woke up and pushed the covers off, he walked over to Gerard and tucked Gerard's hair behind his ear and kissed his cheek.   
"Wake up" Frank whispered   
Gerard rolled over and opened his eyes.   
"Hey sugar" Frank said   
"Mornin Frankie" Gerard said sleepily.  
"c'mere sugar" Frank said   
Gerard sat up and smiled at Frank.   
"Baciami" Frank said (kiss me)   
Frank leaned forward and kissed Gerard gently.   
"I love you" Gerard whispered.   
"ti amo anch'io piccola" Frank whispered. (I love you too baby)   
Frank kissed Gerard's cheek and jawline.   
Gerard smiled and kissed frank.   
"Come on baby lets go and get coffee" Frank said   
They got up and walked down the stairs where Mikey was sitting texting and drinking coffee.   
"Morning baby bro" Gerard said.   
"Mornin" Mikey mumbed   
Gerard ruffled Mikey's hair.   
"I'm going over Pete's if mom comes back early i'm out studying"   
"ok i'll text you or something" Gerard said.   
Mikey ran upstairs to his room and got dressed. He pulled on his skinny jeans and shirt. He walked back downstairs, and pulled on a coat and boots.   
"bye Gee, bye Frank"   
"Bye" they replied simultaneously.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudo and comment pleaseeeeeee <3


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm backkkkkk!! the last time i updated was valentines day i think??? anyway i'm going to see Panic! this weekend and i am PSYCHED!!!! only worry is that beebo will be inappropriate in front of my brother :( whatever still excited af ok enjoy this new chapter and   
> read away

it was a week later.  
Ryan was lying on Brendon's couch asleep as Josh and Brendon played some new video game that had just come out.   
"Oh josh i'm gonna kick your ass" Brendon yelled   
"oh i'd love to see you try" he shot back.   
They kept there eyes locked to the screen there fingers moving alarmingly fast as they pressed different buttons on the black controller.   
Then Mikey, Pete, Frank, Gerard, and Dallon walked in to Brendon's living room.   
"Hey fools" Frank said   
"Hey fuckers" Brendon said   
"you guys are such nerds" Pete said   
"What's wrong with Ryan" Gerard asked   
Brendon glanced behind his shoulder to look at his sleeping boyfriend.   
"He's just tired he had a-"   
"a rough night" he said not wanting to get into details of his boyfriends breakdown.   
everyone was quite for a minute understanding what rough night was code for.   
"but he's ok" Brendon added.   
"What game are you playing" Dallon asked trying desperately to change the subject  
"The new super smash bros" Josh said   
"sick dude when'd you get it" Dallon   
"The day it came out" Brendon said   
"That's why I skipped Monday, dude the line to the game store was crazy it was almost a mile long, you have no idea how many ids skipped just to get this dumb-ass game" Brendon added  
Mikey pulled out a cigarette and blew smoke and the ceiling.   
"nerd" Mikey muttered  
"Oh shut up" Brendon said.   
Pete watched Mikey closely trying to figure out what was wrong.   
He had been acting weird not as close he was drifting out to see, and no matter how much anyone yelled at him to watch out for riptides he just sunk into them   
DEEPER  
AND DEEPER  
it was almost like he was looking to drown.   
Pete took his hand and looked at him worried   
Mikey just looked away.   
Ryan rolled over and woke up rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.   
He looked at all of his friends and sighed glad that no one else was missing.   
Brendon handed his controller to Dallon and sat next to Ryan wrapping his arm around him.   
"Morning sunshine" Frank teased  
Ryan smiled weakly and flipped him off.   
Frank's phone rang and it was his mom.   
"Frank è il tuo padre è qui che sta andando mi ha ferito non so se sia armato o no, ascolta il bambino non so dove sei, ma si prega di chiamare la polizia e 'tornato" (Frank it's your father he's here he's gonna hurt me I don't know if he's armed or not, listen baby i don't know where you are but please call the police he's back)  
"what mom what"   
he heard a scream and the phone line cut out.   
"mom" he yelled   
"Frankie" Gerard said worried  
Frank ran out of the house faster then anyone could Gerard looked at his brother and followed soon everyone was running out down the street trying to follow Frank.   
Frank opened the front door where he found his mother on the floor unconscious, his father above her holding a gun in his hand.   
'what'd you" he screamed  
"what'd you do to her" he ran towards his father and pushed him against the wall and started throwing punches, beating the shit out if the man he used to call his dad.  
The older man pushed him away and pointed the gun at him.   
"You ruined my life"   
"i'm gonna ruin yours"   
Gerard ran into the house.   
"Frankie" he said   
he looked at the man with the gun and took a step back.   
"who"   
"gee go run now" Frank yelled   
"Frank whats happening"   
"la mia corsa amore" (my love run)   
"your a fag" he said   
He paused   
"not for long"   
he pointed the gun at Gerard and shot.   
"no" Frank screamed  
Gerard's eyes widened and he clutched his stomach.   
"Frankie" he whispered   
Frank watched as Gerard back and landed on the floor.   
The rest of his friends ran in.   
"Gerard" Mikey yelled  
Josh Brendon and Dallon took down his dad and hit him in the head with the gun knocking him unconscious.   
Pete, Mikey, and Ryan looked at Gerard and called the ambulance. 

"Please don't die  
Please don't die  
Please don't die  
Please don't die  
Please don't die  
Please don't die  
Please don't die  
Please don't die  
Please don't die  
Please don't die  
Gerard I need you"


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics are from "kitchen sink" by Twenty One Pilots   
> all rights go to Twenty One Pilots   
> THESE LYRICS AREN'T MINE AND I DON'T CLAIM THEM TO BE MINE!!

Josh walked outside and opened his mailbox inside was a letter for him, he walked upstairs and opened it and read the contents. 

"Nobody thinks what I think,  
Nobody dreams when they blink  
Think things on the brink of blasphemy  
I'm my own shrink  
Think things are after me, my catastrophe  
At my kitchen sink,  
You don't know what that means  
Because a kitchen sink to you  
Is not a kitchen sink to me, OK friend?  
Are you searching for purpose?  
Then write something, yeah it might be worthless  
Then paint something then, it might be wordless  
Pointless curses, nonsense verses  
You'll see purpose start to surface  
No one else is dealing with your demons  
Meaning maybe defeating them  
Could be the beginning of your meaning, friend.

Go away   
Go away  
Go away   
Go away  
Leave me alone   
Leave me alone  
Leave me alone  
Leave me alone  
Leave me alone  
Leave me alone  
Leave me alone

Nobody thinks what you think, no one  
Empathy might be on the brink of extinction  
They will play a game and say  
They know what you're going through  
And I tried to come up with an artistic way to say  
They don't know you, and neither do I  
So here's a prime example of a stand up guy  
Who hates what he believes and loves it at the same time  
Here's my brother and his head's screwed up  
But that's alright.

 

Time gains momentum the moment when I'm living in 'em  
I'm winning a momentary sinning a moment passing after  
A re-beginning moments mending memories  
Pretending enemies are frenemies, sending me straight to bending me  
My bad behaviour but I bet I could have been a better man  
Copy and paste caught me, and copy, better rhymes bother me  
The better the rhythm the badder I am but I bet I'll battle with 'em battle  
Better I am, gambling man, better bet I am a gambling man, I am?

Go away   
Go away   
Go away   
Go away   
Leave me alone   
Leave me alone   
Leave me alone   
Leave me alone 

Leave me alone  
Don't leave me alone.  
Oh   
oh   
oh  
oh   
oh" 

Josh I love you more then anything, at first i didn't know what my purpose was but i think i get it now   
my purpose was to make music   
and I did   
I love you Joshua and i want you to do one more thing for me   
Don't forget me.   
When your getting married to the man or women of your dreams remember me, your high school sweetheart who fell desperately in love with you and then had to go   
Remember me the odd kid who flipped his head around but was kind of talented.   
Remember me as someone who took your heart and promised to give it back   
so this is me giving it back   
I want you to remember me Josh and i also want you to remember that you will say things and cobwebs and flies will come out but no matter what   
you are lovely


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!! this chapters gonna contain mentions and flashblacks of abuse so pls!!!!! don't read it if thats gonna upset you or trigger you!!! Love ya'll read away!!!!!

It's funny how time sometimes stops.   
How in one minute the whole world is going 200,000 miles an hour and then BOOM! frozen, the blood on the floor is just blood it's not moving and everyone around you is just frozen. Time soon willget it's shit together and you wake up somewhere else where the world goes on acting like everything's normal.  
Nothing was normal.   
\---------------  
Frank sat in a hospital clinic as the cuts from being punched got tended to. There was about a million people needing to talk to him, doctors, police, social services, ect. So as they came in one at a time Frank answered there questions and nodded. Josh stood next to Frank holding his hand as he got bandaged up. The doctor left and they had peace for a minute.   
"Frank" Josh said  
"i have to see him" Frank said   
he got up and headed for the door when josh stepped in front of him..   
"Frank he's in surgery you can't see him right now you can soon just not right now" Josh said   
"No" Frank yelled   
he felt blood trickle out of his nose and he pushed Josh out of the way and ran out into the hospital clinic. Everyone looked at him staring at the young boy with blood down his nose, no one knew his story but somehow they all looked with pity.   
"what are you staring at" Frank yelled  
"I didn't do it" he yelled  
"it wasn't me i didn't write it on the board dad" he screamed   
"I didn't write kiss my ass on the board" his voice got softer  
"Please don't hurt me again" he whispered  
Frank fell over on the ground and passed out.   
\-------------  
Mikey was crying holding Pete's hand tight watching his hands shake.   
His mom was in the chapel praying. He sat there trying not to sob his eyes out.   
Brendon, Ryan, Dallon and Josh found them and sat down next to them.   
"where's frank" Mikey said shakily  
"He passed out they put him in a room" Josh said  
Mikey wiped his eyes and stopped crying.   
"I fucking hate one more year i don't want to do it anymore i'm done i'm so fucking done" Mikey sobbed  
"I wanna go home" he said


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry it's been so long.......

Frank woke up in a hospital bed restraints on his hands. He sighed and flung his head against the pillow. He remembered what had happened, He looked to the side a chair was there, he had been praying that his mom would be right there, looking at him all worried, he had prayed Gerard would be right there ready to hold his hand, but they weren't. Frank didn't know where were they were, if they were dead or alive. There was a knock at the door and a doctor came in with a man he had never met.

"Frank, I'm doctor Green and this is Doctor James he's a grief counselor" 

Franks heart stopped. 

"Which one" he asked

"Your father passed away in surgery, but that's not it" Doctor James said

Frank looked up at the doctor.

"Frank your mother passed away also" 

Frank felt like everything he had ever known was coming crashing down to the ground.

"No, she can't be dead" frank said

His hands were shaking and tears started to come down his cheeks.

"But she's my mom" 

"I'm so sorry, she had to much internal bleeding there was no chance they could've saved her" 

Frank pulled on his restraints. The doctor took them off and he bent over and sobbed into his hands.

"Get out" he yelled

Both doctors left closing the door behind them.

Frank sobbed into the sheets of the hospital bed.

"Please, please let's just go home" frank sobbed

"Mom please come home"


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heheheheheheheheheheh so um it's been a little while............ IM SORRY!!!!!!  
> So this chapter contains homophobia and just a lot of harsh and mean language so please don't read it if it'll trigger you. So i deleted the original chapter 21 because it wasn't good so this is the same thing just a different version.

Gerard opened his eyes, he squinted looking up at the white ceiling.   
"Gerard!" his mother said   
"oh Gerard sweetie you're awake." she said happily  
she wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek,   
"Oh my beautiful son I was so worried."   
Gerard felt all the memories of what happen flow back into his head.   
He shrugged his other off.   
"Mom." he said   
"yes sweetie whats wrong what do you need."  
He looked over at her and a tear slipped out of his cheek.   
"mom i'm gay." he said  
Her facial expression changed, she looked horrified.   
"No, you're not, you are-you're just confused, you just woke up from the hospital you-y-you can't be."   
"I am mom," he said "It's men mom, it always has been."   
"NO GERARD." she screamed  
"I didn't raise you to be-be a faggot," she yelled "your we're not raised to be a sin." she screamed.   
"We will fix this, you'll go to church every Sunday, we will have the priest come and speak with you, and therapy you will go to therapy, we will fix this Gerard we will make you better."   
"You can't fix something that isn't broken."   
his mother looked at hi staring daggers.   
"When you get out of this hospital you're are going to a catholic school, you will come straight home from school and go to therapy, You will stay in your room 24/7 and only listen to gospel music, no television, nothing, not until this is fixed."   
Mikey swung the hospital door open.   
"Oh my god thank god you're alright." he ran in and hugged his brother.   
"I have to go pray." His mother whispered.   
she walked out of the room.   
Mikey looked confused.   
"I came out."   
Mikey turned white and his eyes went huge.   
"what!" he said   
"I almost died, I could've died and she wouldn't have known," he explained "i had to tell her."   
Mikey nodded agreeing.   
He sat down next to Gerard's hospital bed.   
"Do you remember anything?" he asked  
Gerard nodded.  
"everything."   
Mikey looked down sadly.   
"It's gonna be ok Gee," he said "it's gonna be hard, but it'll be ok."   
Gerard nodded.   
"where's Frank."   
"Josh said he passed out and they put him in a room, I haven't heard anything other then that."  
"I wanna see him." Gerard said   
"I'l go find him.'   
\----------------  
Frank was sitting biting his already short nails tears rolling down his cheeks, for all he knew Gerard was dead. Everything in his mind was telling him that everyone he loved was gone. The door creaked open and Mikey poked his head in. Frank looked up nervously.   
"he's awake."   
Frank got up.   
"Let me see him."   
MIkey lead him to his room, they opened the door and frank walked in.   
"Hey sugar." he said   
a tear slid down his cheek, and he smiled.   
"Hey Frankie." Gerard smiled and a tear slid down his cheek.   
They were staring at each other.   
"Mikey can you give us a minute make sure mom doesn't come in."   
Mikey walked out.   
"come here."   
Frank sat down on the bed and Gerard kissed him.  
they hugged   
"Non posso credere che quasi credo di averti perso, Gerard Way ti amo più di quanto mai abbia mai amato nessuno, per favore non mai mai mi lascia" (i can't believe i almost believe i lost you, Gerard Way I love you more then i have ever loved anyone, please never ever leave me)   
"What?" Gerard asked  
"It doesn't mater I just love you." frank said  
"I love you too."


	22. Chapter 22

Gerard, Mikey, Frank, and Mikey and Gerard's mom all walked into the house.   
"home sweet home." Gerard muttered.   
"Gerard go to your room." His mother said   
"Frank I think that it'd be better if you moved into Mikey's room."   
Frank nodded.   
"Actually Ms. Way i'm moving in with some of my friends, we've been saving up for an apartment and we're moving in tomorrow, so thank you for letting me stay here."   
She turned and looked at him.   
"Oh," she said "well it's been a pleasure having you."   
They all went upstairs and Frank walked into Gerard's room and started packing all of his things.   
"Frankie." Gerard asked   
"Yea sugar."   
"who are you moving in with?"   
"Ryan, Brendon, Pete, and Josh."   
"Why are they moving out from there parents."   
"Well Ryan is sick of getting beaten by his dad, Brendon got kicked out for not being a Mormon, Pete wanted some freedom, and Josh said he needed a change in scenery he's trying to get out of mourning, and I lost everything so now I'm starting over."   
there was a pause.   
"Frankie." Gerard said. His voice was shaky and he was crying   
Frank turned around and rushed over by his boyfriends side.  
"Baby whats wrong." he asked  
"I need to ask you something ad you have to answer me honestly."   
"Anything, sugar what's wrong?"   
"You said you're starting over," he said "I just want to make sure that i'm a part of you're new life."   
Frank looked at him and smiled.   
"bambino" he said   
"of course you are."   
Gerard smiled and wiped the tears of his cheeks.   
"I promise."   
Frank leaned forward and kissed him.   
"Do you wanna help me pack?"   
Gerard nodded and started throwing his clothes in a suitcase.   
They just started chatting and talking.   
"You're perfect." Frank said   
Gerard blushed.   
"You really really are."


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!!!!! so this is kind of a filler chapter just writing so that i can start the next part of the story, I think there might be a few of these filler chapters just because we've had so much drama in the book, with Frank's parents, and Gerard almost dying then coming out.

Frank walked over to his new front door, he knocked and Ryan opened up and smiled at him.   
"Hey Frank come on in." he said   
He walked into the small apartment.   
It was small, nothing to exciting, but it would work.   
Frank walked in the door and straight away was in the living room. Pete was sitting on the couch with Brendon playing video games, Josh was reading a book.   
"dude this place is awesome thanks for letting me move in." Frank said   
"No problem," Ryan said "Let me show you around."   
"so this is the kitchen," Ryan pointed to a small area with a fridge and a old stove.   
"Then there's the living room." Ryan pointed to where Pete and Brendon were.   
"Then there's the bathroom," he pointed into a small room with blue walls and white tile.   
"Finally there is Brendon and my room, That's Pete's room, Josh's rooms over there and then yours is right next to the Bathroom."   
Frank nodded.   
"Awesome." Frank said  
"Well welcome home." Ryan said   
"We all got after-school jobs, Pete's working at the drug store, Brendon and Josh are working at a coffee shop, and I'm working at the Animal Shelter, there lame but we need to keep up with rent so you should start looking for a job." Ryan suggested   
"Yeah definitely."   
"Also there's no washer dryer so you're gonna have to go to the laundromat."   
"I'm just gonna unpack." Frank said.  
Frank walked into his room and unzipped his suitcase and started putting his clothes in the dresser.   
Ryan walked out to the living room and jumped onto the couch next to Brendon.   
"Hey you." Brendon said  
"Hey, who's winning?" Ryan asked   
"Me" Pete laughed "No offense but your boyfriend sucks at this game." Pete teased   
"Oh yea well not anymore." Brendon pressed the button on the controller and Pete's screen showed game over   
"Motherfucker!!" Pete said   
They laughed and Josh jumped on the other side of Pete.   
"I wanna see this go down."   
They were all laughing as Frank sat on his bed with the door closed.   
He was holding a picture of him and his mom.   
"Un giorno non farà male così male" (someday it won't hurt so bad)   
That's what his mom told him the first time he skinned his knee, then again when his father hit him for the fist time, and again when his father left.   
Frank put the picture down on top of his dresser along with a few others. There was one of him and Gee and another of him and all of his friends.   
But his favorite was the sketch Gerard had done of the cliff that they always used to go to, that was before everything had gone wrong. Before everything came crashing down.   
Before Tyler died, before Ryan ended up in the hospital, and before his dad had come back.   
He continued unpacking and ignored the tears that were coming down his cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading leave some comments and kudos for me!! |-/


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey frens!!! new chapter, there's gonna be some parental abuse in this chapter so ls don't read if it's gonna trigger you.

Mikey was walking home from school, his backpack weighing down on his shoulders. He was alone just walking through the warm streets of his city, it was spring and the flowers we're blooming and everything that had died had magically come back to life. He wished humans could do that. Just magically regenerate blossoming into something way prettier then they were months ago. Mikey walked past his neighbors house and to his own. He opened the front door and closed it behind him.  
"Mom."   
"i'm home."   
Mikey walked into the living room and dropped his backpack.   
"Mom." he said scared.   
Gerard was sitting on the couch with a bloody nose and a black eye.   
His mother was standing in the corner crying and a man sitting in front of Mikey's older brother holding a bible in his hands.   
"Mikey sweetie go upstairs."   
Gerard looked at his younger brother. His eyes looked pained, like a part of him was chocking, dying.   
"Mikey sweetheart please go upstairs." his mother said her face tear stained.   
"What are you doing to him." He said looking at his mom scared.   
She walked over to her son and lead him into the other room.   
"Mikey, your brother he is," she paused looking for the right words "he is sick."   
"No he isn't." Mikey said shaking his head.   
"No you're are sick," he yelled "you are sick for putting him through this."   
Mikey grabbed his backpack and ran out of the house, running down the street his feet hitting the pavement faster and faster as he remembered Gerard sitting there.   
He tripped over himself a few times almost falling forward but he just kept going. He got to Pete's apartment and knocked on the door, tears falling down his cheeks.   
Pete answered sticking his head out the door.   
"Mikey?" he said worried  
He opened the door and looked at Mikey worried.   
"Baby what's wrong."   
Pete pulled Mikey into the apartment and sat him down on the couch.   
"Mikey, baby talk to me what's going on." Pete asked concerned  
Mikey was shaking he took a few deep breaths and looked at Pete scared.  
"I got home from school and there was a guy from our church, there with a bible and Gerard was," he closed his eyes and put his head in his hands "He was beat up."   
Pete cupped Mikey's cheek and looked at him worried, he'd never seen Mikey so upset.   
"Hey it's gonna be alright." Pete said   
"Hey MikeyWay look at me."   
Mikey looked at him.   
"Gerard is a tough dude, he got shot and he's still here he can take it, and i know it's hard to watch someone you love get beat up, but he's gonna get out of this."   
The front door opened and Frank walked in   
"Mikey?" he said confused.   
"What's wrong."   
Mikey looked at Frank apologetically.   
"Mikey don't look at me like that," Frank said "Is he ok?" he said worried   
"My mom had a man from our church come and Gerard got a little beat up."   
"What!?" Frank said almost yelling.   
"Is he alrihgt, he just got shot he can't take that where is he, what happened."   
"I don't know." Mikey yelled nervously.   
He started to shake again.   
"Ok, ok it's alright we don't have to keep talking about this," Pete said taking Mikey's hand "He's gonna be ok your mom wouldn't let that dude hurt Gerard to much."   
Mikey and Frank nodded in agreement.  
Mikey wiped the tears off his cheek.   
Pete got up and started to make coffee, he handed a cup to Mikey and another to Frank.   
"We'll figure this out." Pete said   
"Gerard can move here if it comes to that."   
"It's only one more year."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter while listening to the entirety of a fever you can't sweat out so............


	25. Chapter 25

Gerard's door was locked and he was sitting at his desk sketching when his window opened and a small boy climbed in and fell on his floor.  
Gerard stared horrified at Frank who was trying to stand up.  
"What the hell are you doing here." Gerard asked shocked.  
"I had to see you." Frank said.  
Gerard tackled his boyfriend with a hug, they fell back on Gerard's bed.  
Frank laughed and quickly kissed his boyfriend.  
Gerard stood back up and smiled at Frank.  
"I missed you." Frank said  
The smiles washed off there faces as those words hit.  
"Gerard I know this is gonna sound crazy but I came here for a reason."  
"You mean you didn't come here to dazzle me with you're awesome climbing skills.  
Frank shook his head and smiled.  
"Move in with me." Frank asked.  
Gerard turned white  
"Mikey told me about what your mom did Gee," Frank said "come home with me and we won't have to worry about that."  
"Frankie." Gerard said worried  
"Sugar you mean the world to me, I don't want you to get hurt so come with me."  
Gerard rubbed his eyes and shook his head.  
"Ok." he said  
Frank's eyes widened and he stared at Gerard happily.  
"really?"  
"yes Frankie yes now help me pack."  
Frank grinned and started throwing all of Gerards clothes into bags. Gee grabbed his art supplies and chucked that in another bag and Frank opened the window.  
"This is the tricky part." Frank said  
They made it out of Gerard's house and they bolted running down the cool spring nights laughing disbelievingly.  
They got to Franks' apartment and he opened the front door, to find Ryan and Brendon making out of the couch.  
"ew get a room would you." Frank said throwing a dirty sock at them.  
Ryan turned a bright shade of red and Brendon laughed guiltily.  
"where's Pete and Mikey?" Gerard asked  
"asleep." Ryan said  
"By the way Gerard's moving in" Frank said  
"figured." Brendon said  
They locked the front door and Frank and Gerard walked into there new room.  
"Welcome home." He said  
Gerard smiled and sat down on the bed.  
"it's perfect."  
"Besides it's not like my mom can do anything about it we're all basically 18."  
Frank smiled.  
"Non devi preoccuparti del bambino" (you don't have to worry baby).  
Gerard looked at him.  
"Thank you for this."  
Frank smiled and walked over to his boyfriend and kissed him.  
"I love you."  
"I love you too."  
There bedroom door flung open and Mikey sobbed  
"Thank god you're alright."  
He ran over to his brother and hugged him.  
"I was so worried."  
Gerard smiled and hugged his brother. "Yeah you don't have to worry anymore." Gerard said


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so i'm currently jamming out to those new halsey songs and I am feeling it!!! Also i want to send my love and prayers to Manchester, I recently heard about what happened at the Ariana Grande concert and I can't imagine how that must've felt for the families who were affected by the tragedy. My love goes out to everyone affected, |-/ Love you frens. Also on a different note I have no idea what it is like to live alone so some of the stuff that I write about might not be realistic for their living circumstance but it's what I got so hopefully It doesn't bother anyone to much! ok read away

Frank was tearing up the apartment in search for his phone, he could hear it ringing but had no clue where it was.   
"Frank stop running around i'm trying to focus." Brendon said trying to apply for a job on his computer.   
"This apartment could be completely silent and no one would be moving and you still wouldn't be able to focus don't blame it on me." Frank teased  
Brendon chucked a pillow at Frank angrily.   
Ryan snickered at Frank's joke.   
"Don't laugh!!" Brendon said   
"You can't make fun of my adhd it's not my fault!!"   
Ryan smiled and kissed his cheek   
"I know it's ok we're not laughing at you." He said  
"yeah i'm not laughing at you," Frank said lifting up a cushion off the couch "I'm laughing WITH you."   
Brendon flipped him off and looked back at his computer screen.   
"AHA!" Frank yelled as he held up his flip phone.   
"Hello?" Frank said   
"Ciao? Frank è che tu? È tuo nonno, mi senti? Non posso sentirti? Dannata elettronica." (Hello? Frank is that you? It's your grandfather, can you hear me? I can't hear you? Damn electronics.)   
"Nonno? Sì, posso sentirti come sei stato io non ho parlato con te in un po." (Grandpa? yeah i can hear you how have you been i haven't talked to you in awhile.)  
"Bene che sia stato bene, ora ho sentito parlare di tua madre e volevo solo assicurarsi di avere un posto dove vivere e che eri bene." (good i've been well, now i heard about your mother and i just wanted to make sure you had a place to live and that you were well)  
"Sì, sto bene me e alcuni dei miei amici hanno un appartamento." (Yeah i'm fine me and a few of my friends got an apartment.)  
"Bene, sono contento che tu sia bene e che sei al sicuro e che vivi con gli amici. Devo andare adesso, non vorrei che le nostre bollette telefoniche arrivassero in alto, ma Frank se questa cosa in appartamento comincia ad andare male, allora sai che sei sempre benvenuto in Italia!" (good i'm glad you're well and that you're safe and living with friends. I have to go now wouldn't want our phone bills to get to high but Frank if this apartment thing starts to go bad then you know you are always welcome in Italy!)   
"Grazie, nonno, sono sicuro che sarò bene, però." (Thank you grandpa i'm sure i'll be fine though, bye)   
He hung up the phone and sighed.   
"Who was that?" Ryan asked  
"That was my grandfather," Frank said "He lives in italy."   
The front door opened and Pete walked in, he fell down on the couch next to Brendon and sighed.   
"Why did they give me the night-shift and then the day-shift," Pete groaned "why do they do this to me."   
Pete, Brendon, and Frank had dropped out of school so they could work as much as possible.   
"did you find a job yet?" Pete said looking at Frank.   
"Yeah i applied at the music store down the street and then i'm looking for another job right now, I might try and see if I can work at the bar down in the city."   
"You're not old enough yet you have to be 18." Ryan said  
"I turn 18 in 3 days." Frank said   
Ryan shrugged.   
"All i know is that i am pretty sick of picking up dog shit." He said   
Brendon laughed and closed his laptop.   
"Well I just applied for a Job at a different coffee shop."   
Ryan shook his head.   
"You already can't sit still I don't know why you think drinking caffeine if gonna help that."   
Brendon shrugged and got up.   
"I'm gonna take a shower and then I leave for hours and hours of coffee drinking."   
Josh walked in the front door scowling.   
"Oh my god what happened to you?!" Pete asked   
"Some asshole ran into me and dumped coffee all over me."   
Frank smirked fighting back a laugh.   
"Damn i'm sorry man that sucks."   
"yeah, i'm gonna go take a shower."  
"sorry to tell ya but Brendon just went in to take one."   
"well that's too bad for him, he's either gonna have to wait or take one with me."   
Josh stormed off to the bathroom.   
Ryan stood up and stretched out his long limbs mimicking the movements of a cat.   
"Alright I should leave for work."   
"I'll see you guys later." Ryan said   
He left and Pete wandered over to his room and fell asleep, Brendon groaned and got his uniform on.   
"Bye."   
"Bye." Frank said   
Frank twiddled his thumbs and walked around the apartment bored.   
The front door opened once again and this time Gerard walked in, he looked tired and worn down, he had a cigarette hanging from his lips and millions of drawings in his arms.   
"Hey." Gerard said a smile spreading along his mouth once he saw his boyfriend.   
"ciao." Frank said   
"com'è stata la tua giornata?"   
Gerard looked confused  
"How was your day." Frank said   
"I always forget that not everyone speaks Italian."   
Gerard smiled.   
"I think it's pretty cute." Gerard said   
Frank blushed and shook his head   
"but hey you're pretty cute so."   
"Stop it!!" Frank said   
His face was bright red blushing.   
Gerard smirked and put all of his stuff down.   
"You never answered my question," Frank said "How was your day?"   
"It was fine, I got a fuck ton of art done so."   
Frank smiled at his boyfriend.   
"Why are you looking at me like that."   
"Because i love you duh."


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so i'm afraid we may be nearing the end of Impossible Year. I was looking at how many hits this has gotten and we are at a thousand!! That to me is really amazing and I wanted to thank all of you for reading and commenting and giving kudos! I've got some other ideas about what my next fic might be but idk??? So anyway there's gonna be one more chapter after this and then I think we've concluded this story! Love you all and Read away.......

Frank was sitting on the couch with Brendon, Pete, Ryan, Josh, and Mikey, they were playing video games all staring at the screen apprehensively waiting for there turn with the controller. Frank was sitting next to Pete bragging about his job at the music store. It was awesome all he did was hang out with guitars all day, he considered it paradise. Frank's phone rang. It was Gee.  
"Hello." Frank saisd  
"Hello Mr. Iero?" A man said  
"Um Yes who's this."  
"My name is Dr. Grace I'm calling about your friend."  
"Yeah what about him is he ok?"  
"Mr. Iero i'm afraid that Gerard died in surgery."  
"The stitches that were holding the part of his body that the bullet went through broke and he started bleeding out, this caused him to have a heart attack and by the time that we got him into surgery it was to late."  
"He died."  
Frank hung up the phone and watched as it slipped out of his hands and hit the floor.  
Everyone jumped and looked at him like he was crazy.  
"Frank dude what the hell."  
He didn't answer he just sat staring at the broken pieces of plastic and metal that sat on the carpet.  
"Il mio amore." (My love) he whispered.  
\-------------  
Frank sat silently in a cab with MIkey next to him.  
Mikey was sobbing his eyes out.  
They got to the hospital and Frank paid the driver and they walked away towards the building that was holding the one person Frank had really always loved.  
They met with doctors and they brought them to a morgue where he lied on a table pale and dead.  
Mikey waited outside while Frank went in.  
He stared at Gerard in silence for what seemed like hours, before he fell his back and head hitting the ground and he watched the lights get brighter before everything went black and the same words kept wringing in his ear.  
"Il mio amore."  
\-------------  
Frank woke up about a day later in his bed, the apartment was cold, or maybe that was just him.  
The door opened and his grandfather walked in.  
"È il momento di tornare a casa mio nipote." (It's time to come home my grandson)  
"Torna in italia dove non ci sarà più perdita per te" (back to Italy where there will be no more loss for you)  
Frank nodded and a tear fell down his cheek.  
"per favore." (Please)  
His grandfather helped him gather up his things and put them in a bag they took everything and Frank walked out of his room to find all of his friends there looking at him sadly.  
"We did it." he said  
"One more year."  
"It's over."  
He looked at his friends for what would be the last time.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter! Thanks so much for reading and leaving so much awesome and amazing feedback for me!

it was September the warm summer air was dying out with all the leaves and turning into Autumn. Frank was walking down his street to his house. He was 36 now, it was 18 years after Gerard had died. His feet made noise as he stepped and scrunched all the orange leaves, watching them die from his step. Everything had changed, he had gone to Italy and graduated high-school. His Grandfather had gotten him off cigarettes and booze and he had gone to college. He met a girl in college her name was Jamia and she was his everything. She didn't care about his past, and all the horrible things that had happened to him. She just loved him, and he loved her. He had also met a girl names Lindsey and knew immediately that Gerard would've loved her, probably more then Gerard loved him. Frank proposed to Jamia after college and they had 3 kids now, Lilly, Cherry, and Miles. His life was normal finally. Frank talked to his friends now and then but most of them weren't worth talking to anymore. Mikey and had kept dating Pete for a while but Mikey's drug addiction progressed and Pete left him. Pete was now in a band writing songs about how much he missed Mikey, because he loved him, and he always would, but Mikey took a liking to drugs more then he did Pete. Pete had almost died from a suicide attempt but he was better now, he had a girlfriend and two sons. Mikey got to rehab married a girl and had a baby girl. Josh moved far, far away and never called, he said he wanted to cut this part of his life out, which no one blamed him for. After everything he had gone through, he deserved a break. Ryan and Brendon stayed together for a while, everyone thought they were gonna get married or something, but then Ryan wanted something different, and Brendon couldn't handle the change so they broke up. Brendon married a girl that he always said he loved, but he still wrote every song about Ryan, and Ryan got a dog and lived his life the way he wanted to live it. Which somehow turned out to be without Brendon. Frank kept walking down the street until he got to his house he opened the door and was greeted by his daughters.  
"Daddy!" They said happily.  
"Hey kiddos."  
"how was school today."  
"good."  
They both ran off and Frank went up to his room, he pulled out two pictures, one was the drawing of the ledge that Gerard had drawn and the other was him and Gerard.  
"Dad whose that." Miles asked walking up behind him.  
"No one just someone i used to know."  
"Why do you look sad in the picture." Miles asked  
Frank looked at his eyes in the photo, they looked pained and broken.  
He threw the photo away never wanting to see himself that bad again.  
"Because it was an impossible year."

**Author's Note:**

> comment and leave kudos for meeee so that ik how you feel thx love you guys and  
> stay alive |-/


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